The Pride of Life: Becoming a Nobody
Bob Mayo, Stonepoint Member
I had lunch with a friend the other day. We were having a good time talking and laughing when I said something like, “let me tell you what I really want for what’s left of my life.” I then said I didn’t want to tell her after all, because she would think I was stupid. We talked a little longer and then I said, “I’m just going to do it and tell you anyway.” I then said, “I want to be a nobody.” I could tell by my friend’s reaction that she wasn’t sure what to make of it. I also didn’t explain it to her, but I want to talk about this a little bit today.
I’ve been thinking and praying about this for some time. I come from a background of working hard for 40 years. Twenty years were with the State of Colorado and twenty years have been with a Christian ministry. In Colorado, I was always looking for a better job, more responsibility, more money, etc. At the ministry, that changed a bit and I, at least somewhat, did not take pride in having a job title or overseeing a department or things like that. But that doesn’t mean I didn’t have pride in whatever I achieved. Pride is such a subtle disease, if I can call it that. Over the last two years, I have had some struggles the Lord over the way things have been going with my life. I must admit, some of what was going on made me angry. So, over time, my attitude became one of anger, frustration and bitterness.
By God’s grace during part of all this, God led me to re:generation for all of 2016. While there, I began to see a lot of the sin in my life. Again, by God’s grace, I was able to look at my sin and pray over it and ask forgiveness. Like it or not, I found the biggest sin I had could be summed up in one word: PRIDE!!
As I spent time praying about this and asking God to change my heart and I began to find my attitude changing. Thus, I could tell my friend the other day, “I want to be a nobody.” What do I mean by that? I don’t mean that I want to feel I am no good, I can’t do anything right, I’m just too sinful or anything like that. I truly am those things in my flesh but that’s not the point. God has given me a new life in Christ, I am chosen, I am redeemed, forgiven and I have the Holy Spirit in my life. That’s all good stuff, but my heart is that I now want to be a bond-servant to Jesus Christ. (It sounds boastful even to talk like this). Here is a straight forward verse that talks about this: “The greatest among you shall be your servant. Whoever exalts himself will be humbled, and whoever humbles himself will be exalted.” Matthew 10:38.
I cannot say it any better. May God truly humble us to be this kind of servant for Jesus Christ. Whether I get recognized for anything or not, whether I get thanked for something or not, whether I ever get to do the things that I think are important to me in ministry or not, don’t matter. Please know I’m not bragging about this new change that I believe God has wrought in my life. I am more surprised by it than I could explain.
I had the privilege to give my re:generation testimony a few days ago. One of the things I said a few times was that my sins were hidden and respectable. They are not overt things that people would notice. They are sins of the heart that I can hide from others. I can look like I am being a good servant on the outside while my heart can be as black as coal. I don’t want to look good! I want Jesus to make me good from the inside out! Being a servant to Jesus is a choice we make. We can serve Jesus or serve ourselves. May our hearts so break over our sins so much that we fall at the foot of His Cross and surrender ourselves to Him. It’s not an easy choice, but it is a choice that will bring joy to our lives that we have never understood before. May we learn what it truly means when Jesus says: “Whoever finds his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life for my sake will find it.” I can honestly tell you I am not there at this point. But I am truly asking God to make this kind of life a reality to me. I truly want to be a nobody!