Bob Mayo, Stonepoint Member
I have to confess, I’ve had a hard time thinking of what to write this week. I’ve had an idea or two, but when it came to actually sitting down at my laptop and writing, they just didn’t come together. It has been an interesting week, both good and bad. I have been thinking and asking God about some of my attitudes and challenges I have been facing. I don’t really know if i got answers or not. But one thing I know, I still trust Him.
So, given all my indecision and confusion, I thought I would write a little about my time in re:generation. It is a little more together than the rest of things surrounding me right now. This Monday will mark the culmination of my sixth week. I’m not sure what will happen. My work book tells me I should let the leader look through my book to see if I am ready to move on. You see, the first six weeks in re:gen, is sort of a primer for everything else that will take place. It’s called “Groundwork.” It contains six weeks of daily lessons that we are supposed to work on and then share something from them at each meeting. Being as I just finished the the last lesson, I decided to write a summary of the past six weeks of what I think I have been learning, or at least become aware of in re:gen.
As I worked on this, I became somewhat surprised at what I could actually write down. It seemed that God did more than I thought. I pray you bear with me as I mention a few things. My hope in doing this is that it will encourage you or perhaps make you think about things in your own life that you may need to think about.
The first thing that came to mind was how impatient I am. This was brought to me in day 3 of the first week of lessons. Now that wasn’t a surprise to me. I have felt I have always been impatient. But what this lesson did, was make me more aware of it. I noted that I am very impatient with things, such as computers and printers. When they do what I think they should, I am happy but let them mess up, and I really want to toss them out the window. With people, it’s a little different. I find I can generally be patient with most anyone except myself. Patience, as you probably is one of the fruits of having the Spirit of God living in us (Galatians 5:22-23). Sadly, I quench the Spirit regularly in this. But there is hope of change.
Another area that I also knew was a problem was that I am a self-centered person. But the third day of week three brought this to me even more. One of the dreams I have had for myself for a long time is to be truly crucified with Christ and to realize that I am a dead man.How much can a dead man protest? Not at all. My heart literally aches at times to see Luke 9:23 lived out in my life: “…If anyone wishes to come after Me, he must deny himself, and take up his cross daily and follow me.” How I cry to see that reality. But my flesh just wants to please itself. May God give us the strength to fully surrender ourselves to Him. We need to have His life in us more now than ever before.
I will mention just one more area although there are any more that I have written down in my summary paper. Actually I want to do two areas together. They are: Talk to God (from Week 4 Day 3) and a lesson entitled, The heart that’s Well is the heart that Tells from Week 5, Day 2. These go together because they both involve prayer. This has been one of my weakest areas in all my days as a Christian. What these lessons call for is to talk to God honestly and openly. We need to search ourselves and honestly confess all areas of sin that He reveals. I honestly think I go brain dead when it comes to prayer. I can start praying and within two minutes I am thinking about all kinds of things I have to do. I used to really beat myself up over that. Now, by God’s grace I just let Him know that I am struggling, and I seek to continue talking with Him. Maybe not a great victory, but the bruises I gave myself in the past are at least starting to heal.
So, perhaps Monday will be my last week in “Groundwork.” I don’t really know. It depends on a lot of things such as if there are any others in our current group ready to move on, or even if the leader thinks I am ready to move on. Whatever happens, I can say it has been a great six weeks of learning about our Lord, His mercy and grace. It has also been a joy to be with other men seeking to grow in the Lord. Even though we all have different issues that we deal with, we are all seeking to be our best for the Lord’s service and to love Him with all our hearts, soul and strength (Deut. 6:4-5). God bless you!!