Why am I Fasting?

Randal Brewer, Stonepoint Member

Because we need a miracle.

It’s easy to see trouble and suffering and problems in the lives that surround us and say we need to pray for others. It’s easy to turn on the news and see what evil is, and to sigh and shake our heads and say a prayer thanking God that we are ok, and ask for His continued protection. It’s easy, in the church setting, to say we want to change the world and vow to ourselves to do something.

I’m going to quote from a sappy song by Los Lonely Boys: You can’t change the world until you change yourself. Guess what. You can’t even change yourself. Not without a miracle.

Wait, that’s not fair. I can’t speak for you. You might be able to do anything you want through the sheer power of your will, so let me speak for myself. It appears, through many trial and errors, and despite a strong desire I have to see positive changes in the world around me, that I am unable to change anything.

It has been more than 20 years since I first prayed and confessed to God that I was a sinner and needed Jesus as my savior, and yet it seems I am largely stuck with the same sinful attitudes and actions that caused me to pray in the first place. I need to change, but have failed to do it on my own.

And regarding the world we live in? This is a world that is desperate for a revival, and most of the world doesn’t even know what that is. Even the majority of people that do know the definition and concept of the word revival are so busy failing to change themselves that little thought or effort can be given to the world. It’s just overwhelming. We need a miracle.

But I believe in miracles. I have firsthand experience. God loved me, rebel of all rebels that I am, he loved me and chased me and caught me and saved me, and despite my stiff-necked ways, the fact that I am typing this right now is proof that He has been changing me all along.

Here is an example of how He has changed me. I have always wanted to live the biggest life I could imagine. I want an adventure. I want to have fun. I want my adrenaline to flow and I want to tell wild stories of what I’ve seen and done. I used to have a different idea of what that meant. That used to mean fame and fortune of some kind—rock stardom would do it—and along with that would come the independence I needed to do what I wanted when I wanted. And I would be able to change lives for the better through an uncanny combination of benevolence and brilliance. (I would be Solomon without the supernatural intervention or the mistakes he made.)

God answers prayers better than we can pray them. How much more does our Father in heaven know how to give good gifts. God preserved and saved me from all of that stupidity. More than that (oh thank you God) he saved my children from all that stupidity and pride and arrogance and haughtiness, and the shame that come with it, and instead, He instilled a sliver of humility, which is accompanied with wisdom (Prov.11:2). And it is that wisdom that now tells me, the biggest, fattest, fullest adventure I can live is in God’s hand and in His service. I don’t know why he chose to save me and invite me into his plan to change the world, and I don’t know why I resist the invitation to change myself so that I am fitted to the work, but in a moment of clarity I want it more than anything else. Oh, to be changed. To be different. To be the difference. To rise up out of the rut of my sin and be a part of the miraculous.

The world needs a miracle. I need a miracle, and I have seen God do them in my life already. I believe Him, and He told me to fast and pray. Yes, Lord.

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